Relationships
of all kinds are hard for anybody. For people like me whose disability is
visible, relationships with the opposite sex are few and far between. Luckily
there have been a special few who were able to see through it. But, in the end
something happens and they walk away. Maybe it’s because I get impatient or
motivated to have what everyone else around me has.
Friendships can lead to intimate
relationships, and sometimes marriages. They can also lead nowhere. While casual
friends are great to have, it can wear on people’s feelings if what you’re
looking for is a soul mate. Then there is love at first sight; which is a rare
occurrence. It becomes ten times harder
for people with all kinds of disabilities especially if you can see what they
have.
People say
things that are supposed to be comforting. People even try to put you in
situations where you can meet people.
Statements are made like: “just try harder”, or “put yourself out there.” While these things
are true a person can only do that for so long before it just becomes
laughable. If people do all of these things and still have no luck finding
anyone what are they supposed to do? What does a person do when they’ve tried
everything else? In this newer day-n-age, the internet and social media offer a
different idea about “putting yourself out there”. But how do you know if
people tell the truth about who they are and what they want? I one makes the
mistake of getting into a relationship with a person with bad intentions, it
will be very easy for him/her to take advantage of a person with a disability.
Dating sites
are options some people want me to try. The first site I used is advertised
widely on television and suggests that it is for “Christian” people. But sadly,
I will tell you that I quickly learned that there are some of the same disgraceful
people on the dating site as there were off of it. I also had people asking me
things one wouldn’t ask on a real first date. That’s when I got a little
anxious and started questioning if this was the right fit for me. Friends and
family have been supportive but have also let me have my own opinion about it
all.
A person in
my life told me once, that it’s up to me to make my life what I want it to be. But it seems to be like trying to trying to play tennis with
both hands tied behind your back. One encouraging thing is that there are
hundreds and thousands of people enrolled on these dating sites looking for a
pleasant relationship, who have no disabilities at all. Still they are there
and that seems to mean that disability has little to do with success rates in
this business.
