Relationships And People With Disabilities

            Relationships of all kinds are hard for anybody. For people like me whose disability is visible, relationships with the opposite sex are few and far between. Luckily there have been a special few who were able to see through it. But, in the end something happens and they walk away. Maybe it’s because I get impatient or motivated to have what everyone else around me has.

 Friendships can lead to intimate relationships, and sometimes marriages. They can also lead nowhere. While casual friends are great to have, it can wear on people’s feelings if what you’re looking for is a soul mate. Then there is love at first sight; which is a rare occurrence.   It becomes ten times harder for people with all kinds of disabilities especially if you can see what they have.   

            People say things that are supposed to be comforting. People even try to put you in situations where you can meet people.  Statements are made like: “just try harder”, or  “put yourself out there.” While these things are true a person can only do that for so long before it just becomes laughable. If people do all of these things and still have no luck finding anyone what are they supposed to do? What does a person do when they’ve tried everything else? In this newer day-n-age, the internet and social media offer a different idea about “putting yourself out there”. But how do you know if people tell the truth about who they are and what they want? I one makes the mistake of getting into a relationship with a person with bad intentions, it will be very easy for him/her to take advantage of a person with a disability.

            Dating sites are options some people want me to try. The first site I used is advertised widely on television and suggests that it is for “Christian” people. But sadly, I will tell you that I quickly learned that there are some of the same disgraceful people on the dating site as there were off of it. I also had people asking me things one wouldn’t ask on a real first date. That’s when I got a little anxious and started questioning if this was the right fit for me. Friends and family have been supportive but have also let me have my own opinion about it all.

            A person in my life told me once, that it’s up to me to make my life what I want it to be. But it seems to be like trying to trying to play tennis with both hands tied behind your back. One encouraging thing is that there are hundreds and thousands of people enrolled on these dating sites looking for a pleasant relationship, who have no disabilities at all. Still they are there and that seems to mean that disability has little to do with success rates in this business.

Tri-Met's LIFT Program

Tri-Met’s public transportation system is useful to a great many people. From their bus lines to MAX and now even WES, if you need to get somewhere fast and don’t or can’t drive, Tri-Met provides these services to you. And for the disabled folks like me who find the big bus environment a little too overwhelming; there is something for us too.

Tri-Met’s LIFT program was made for folks like me who still want to be a functioning, independent part of society but not have to deal with so many people and the bells and whistles that commonly occur on the other services. LIFT is a smaller fleet of lift equipped buses that can provide more “door to door” services.  So far the LIFT program sounds nice from a distance, doesn’t it?

Although LIFT is run by Tri-Met, its dispatchers and drivers come from different companies. LIFT’S policy was that the drivers have a ½ hour window with which to retrieve clients who made appointments the night before. Also they made it so you could schedule rides for the week at a time.

I rode with LIFT for many of my college years, but towards the end of my time with them, things had started to get out of control. I was never quite sure if LIFT was overbooked all the time or if there was a lack of drivers. I was calling to check on my late rides almost every day, so much that some of the dispatchers knew when it was me calling again and again. I was always in contact with family and friends for fear I would be left on the side of the road sometimes for over an hour, which did happen on several occasions.

The most unpredictable part of a trip is when you wanted to be picked up from your destination and taken home. No telling when that bus would arrive, even if you had scheduled the pick up the day before.  And there is no clever GPS system available to LIFT riders to tell where the bus is at this time.

The humorous part was when they were taking me from home to my destination and they took the “great circle route.” I remember going from my home, right past PCC (my destination) and all the way to Lake Grove to pick up another PCC student. The drivers try to follow pre-arranged pickup routes that don’t always make sense in the field.

If I had to give advice to someone learning to use the LIFT for the first time, these are things I would tell them. First, plan at least two hours ahead of, and behind your outing as there is just no guarantee that the bus (or you) will arrive on time. Trips on the LIFT system are sort of an “all day” affair.  Second, have someone available to come assist you if the bus is late or not going to come at all. Third, be ready when the bus does show up, as they only have a few minutes to wait for you, whether or not they are early or late.  And finally, learn who the Dispatchers and customer service people at LIFT are. They are generally very understanding of schedule and driver problems you have, and often they appreciate your communications with them about the service.

Weather Life and Other

Well hello readers. I know I have not been good at keeping up on posting. It has just been lacking in my mind to have thoughtful things to say.

The weather has been rather crazy as of late. Rain mostly, which I guess is good for the plants. The few days that are sunny I try to go out in it as much as possible. I have given up caring what happens now and am glad to be out of the house when I can. Like I told folks on Facebook soon enough people will be complaining that it's to hot.


 We are having another 4th of July here which promises to be a good time. Previous to this my nephew and family are coming for the weekend.  Should be fun to see them. The pool wont be open for people to swim i don't think.

Have a great weekend 

Old friends

It's always fun to find old friends and see what their lives are like now. I found two people like this that I knew as a kid. Both have CP and both are very fun and full of life. I am thankful to be reminded that I am not the only one  who sometimes feels like life is a constant struggle.

I've been out three times with these people and for once I am able to feel normal for all of the time I am out with them. And it's nice to be able to talk to them and have them understand exactly what I mean. Nothing surprises them.

I hope we can continue to be friends and hang out. I am thankful to have found old friends and to be able to continue to build a strong friendship with each of them.

Ever Wonder What Its Like?

Often in my life I wondering what it is like to live somewhere else besides the place you grew up. I mean places like the beach or high in the mountains or even just in another state. I know now why people travel when there young. They have the time, energy and gusto to experience new things and their bodies hold out.

There are some people who would like to live at the beach. For some people this would tire them to easily. What with all the seafood and chowders and fishermen's stews? Yum sounds like deliciousness to me. Wonder what that would make me of the only thing I ate was from the ocean? And what of any adverse affects would it have on my health? I'm thinking it would be almost like being a vegetarian but that I couldn't do.

There are some people who want to live on an Island and eat whatever the locals eat. This maybe another good place to try something different such as a diet of fruit and game from the island prepared in the traditional way. And learning the ways of the land.

Lastly there are even us folks who wouldn't mind living in the mountains. At least there it is hard for anyone to get a-hold of you and you would have a great view from so high up. I don't like heights though as it makes me nurvose. I am quite certain you would be the talk of the town.

So there you are. My brain has been poured out on paper for any interested parties who would like to hear. Eat, Pray, Love    the first two are easey the last is always hard long tireous work. But if you are up for the challenge it might just be the one thing you need.

Think about it.

French Onion Soup and Mac and Cheese

We decided to make some French Onion Soup the other day. Dad got the recipe out of the newspaper. You cook the onions in the slow cooker with some butter for 4 hours and then stir it. Then you cook it for another 6 hours. Instead of bread use hamburger buns. Trust me they are much softer and sweeter then hard bread that is typically used. A little Gruyere cheese and your good to go.

My macaroni and cheese is pretty simple. Boil water being sure to add salt but not to over salt because then it will taste-bad. Under boil the noodles in the salted water. In another pan melt butter and when it is done add 1/4 cup of flour. Let the flour to thinken and then add a cup or so of 1/2 and 1/2. Add two shakes of garlic powder and thyme. Depending on how much you make you can layer slices of chese with the noodles and sauce. I use the mexican chese blend as well as cheddar. Bake for 25 minutes and then add more chese and serve.

Yum!

Black Berry vs. Regular Phone vs. Touch Screen

I am a cell phone geek. I admit it. There is probably not a cell phone out there that I have not used or seen used. I know most people don't use their cell phones near as much as I do. So I try to find the most workable phones for me to use.

There was the regular flip phone. It was good for what I needed it to do. Call and text as slow and painfully time consuming it was. At that time I was also able to use a ear bud earphone so that i could have my privacy just like everyone else. When they stopped making the one ear bud that fit in my ear I had to join the blue tooth craze. And too I found out that a touch screen may be a better option since no buttons were required to use it.

Then I discovered a touch screen that could keep me in the loop with my facebook, my email and google talk.It worked well for a while. I was able to stay in the know, text others (even if I did need help) and people could get a-hold of me in more ways then one. But I soon found out that I really wanted to do it more myself and only need help with important or long messages. Also turning it on and off was hard and a pain and really I need a phone i can use and is not hard for others to use.

Finally we land on a blackberry. I don't know maybe I like the simplicity of an on off switch that does what you would imagine it would. I absolutely love the full keybord and the fact I don't have to constantly be spining my phone just to text. My spelling has not improved but I can write simple words. Facebook has improved as well. I am able to keep up with friends and reply more quickly to email and texts.

So I am satisfied for now that my blackberry may just be what I needed to be more conected.

Christmas Presents

For Christmas I recived  a lot of cool things from both friends and family. I wont bore you with telling you about every single thing, although everything was awsome in it's own way, Instead I'll tell you about some of my favorites.

The first presant I'm going to talk about was the DVR for my TV in my room. I have been wanting this for a while because so often I have to flipback and forth between shows. This may seem like not such a big deal to most. I have several shows I like to watch all the way through their seasons. And before the dvr I'd eaither have to watch it on damand or not at all. Now I can watch one and record the other or several other shows. And I can do it more quickly because I am able to fast forward though the commerchials.

Next was the ice cream maker. This was a really great gift. I enjoy making things (even if it is giving others directions since lifting things can be challenging and not to metchen messy). I also like ice cream and really who dosen't? The best part is it can make it in less then 10min so you can make multiple flavors.You know how people have game parties with food and wine and fancy clothes? I bet we could do that with ice cream,

Computer ganes included Wheel Of Fortune and Bejuled <?> with a side of Peggle, Very fun. I always enjoy those mindless  games where you dont have to think to play them.

Clothes, the talking ferbys, julery, the wii draw and the rest of the gifts were awsome as well. I am so very thankful for my family and friends. It was a great time.